i.
i lie in bed for hours, imagine fish-
soft bodies writhing weightless, water bound
but fluid, flowing water, boundless abyss
enriches, holds them gently, never drowns
imagine this is us! imagine hope
beside our open window breathing slow
imagine feeling rested when we’ve woke
imagine never stopping, going with the flow
instead, goldfish, once confined, overgrow, then jump the side-
get stuck, and pressure grows and grows until
the moon beneath my skin consumes the tide
for you are full, and i am never filled
and you are full, and i am emptied out
and you are full, and i, an empty mouth
ii.
i lie in bed for hours, imagine fish-
soft bodies writhing weightless, unlike us-
snake biting our own tail, skin and bone bound abyss
full but still filling, cycling, growing denser, tighter.
we could be fish if i were boundless-
instead you play the moon and consume the tide
beneath my skin. me, i lie outside the shower
begging for water, begging for kinder bones.
if i did this to you, you did it to me ten-fold;
if i narrowed the river, you damned it
if i pushed you down, you took me by the skull
and slammed us into the void like cement.
you become full, and i am emptied out
until you are parched and i am drowned.
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